Join My Cult

Just fuck up.

2006-03-09T00:53:00.000-09:00

So you couldn't stand me being away huh! only some of you little pricks passed the test- Richard youv'e been upgraded to Pleb.

Fuck fucking fuck, IM BACK!!!!!

So you all probably are dying to know where i have been, well, ill tell you, wasting time with women.

THIs is a lesson to you all, never trust women, they are the devil- wes probably died by the hands of a woman, probably his mum, your all going to die because of women. ALL WOMEN ARE TERRORISTS. All hippies need to convert to me now, cos this fucking place is starting to STINK!

WEAR SOME FUCKING DEODERANT CUNTS! IT'S 2007

Some of the more pissy of you sussed that i got a job. well yes, thats why you pricks dont deserve my time- however this is the second coming of the morri and the Grandmaster is back!!!!

fuck fuckity fuck- fuck; CUNT.

Love Old Man Morri.

Donate Cash here to the First Morrist church.

Now flippantly featuring;

Ask Wes

Sponsor this poor retarded blog below

Disclaimer for babies who don't understand satire

2006-02-20T18:45:00.000-09:00

This weblog is satire. Just in case you didn't notice. We purposefully do not make any reference to "god" "christianity" or "creators" because we are actually not interested in offending peoples' belifes.

Any reference from others linking our site to a parody of christianity is not our responsiblity, but we will delete offensive posts.We do not seek to make fun of or discriminate ANY religion. We do not want to offend any religious, spiritual, caring people out there, what we are making fun of is the fact that people will belive anything, if it's on the web. We do not take any money, or possesions off of people. We are just making a joke. Ok? Up yours.

This also includes the random people i choose to pick on on thier blogs and say that they suck for no reason. You don't really suck, in fact your lucky you have been chosen to convert. C'mon guys, stop with the whole, "Morri's gonna die stuff". Sheesh!

On that point, if you see Grandmaster Morri in the street, he's just the poster boy and founder, I am the one who does this blog so , if you want to punch someone , punch me not him.

Old Man Morri

About Morrism

2006-02-14T22:16:00.000-09:00

Forward by Old Man Morri, Vice Grandmaster Of Morrism.

My name Is Old Man Morri, I work with Grandmaster Morri, the founder of our Morrism. I type and translate all of his spritual teachings so that you all may benefit from his wisdom. He is a real person and he gets really angry all the time. He mostly gets angry because people are really fucking stupid. That is Grandmaster Morri and he hates us all equally

We started this blog to enlighten people by means of nasty words like cunt, fuck and britney. We open their eyes to the fact that they as humans, are crap. We however are Masters, which makes us supreme which is why we get so angry at pathetic internet Arse- clowns. We systematically harrass and intimidate other bloggers, so that they may get into Morresville, Morrist heaven. If we didn't take the time out of our precious lives to do this huge community service, then all you fuckheads would probably die from being so stupid. We are Morrism and we are here for you.

Morrism is a cult that we created due to popular demand placed on us by people who need to know who they are and why they are here. If your reading this and then become a member, chances are you are really gullable, and are now willing to follow the teachings of someone you don't even know. As a member, you will have the pleasure of being bullied, harrased, sworn at and put down all the time. That is Morrism, and we are here to help you.

We have no set doctrine, and belive only that we are right and that Grandmaster Morri knows all. You will have the pleasure of never having to think for yourself again because we will tell you your opinions. We belive in making you feel hopeless so that we can feel supreme. You are shit, we are rad. Fuck you all in your stupid arses. This is Morrism and we are your friends.

Other books for your further reading are included on the list below for you.

Belive in empty.
Hope in that hole.
I'm ok, with no arms and legs.
T.v's no teacher, wait yes it is.
The minda in me.
Stop that bus , you're no good for me.(1993)
Stop that bus, trains are no better, (1994) revized edition.
The man behind the Moustache, discovering the inner you.

Add your link

2006-02-14T22:15:00.001-09:00

To become one of us, you must do all of the following things.

1, You must leave your website and/ or name at the comments "section" of this page only! You must tell us how much you love us ! You will then be linked spiritually to us, and by means of a hyperlink on this page you fucking ingrates.

2, You must renounce all other faiths and/or family and/or steady job, income, common sense, morality, trust, "better judgement" and belive that we are who we say we are and are not after cash and/or all your worldly ties, cars, house, money etc.

3, You must be plyable, gullable and willing enough to let go of all self esteem, so that when your brain is reprogrammed by us the "transition" will go smoothly.

4, You must get rid of all worldly ties including pets,furniture, cars house and donate them to us including , family and /or friends.

5, You must wear black shirts and white ties.This is the uniform of the Morrist's and if you want a picture of you in here it must be in uniform with the Morrist sign of luck ; the two pointed middle fingers.

6, You must as a Morrist spread the word of our website and teachings except when in the presence of police, social workers, people in the care industries, including G.p's, and any family members who graduated from high school or T.A.F.E equivilent, including G.C.S.E's, H.S.C's, and any other acronymn.

7, You will use the words "and /or" in as many inapropriate situations as possible.

8, You will use inverted commas or quotes and do the little bunny rabbit action when saying anything that relates to Morrism, especially in the company of large groups of people, up to and including, small groups of animals.

9, You will say the words "literally" and "ironic" at times when the context of these words is totally inapropriate. Example, "Hey mister you're wearing red socks, how ironic" and/or, "These new Keyboards are literally running through my veins". Other permitted words are; "When in rome" and/or "Touche".

10, You are literally expected to be creative and/or ironic in the "misuse" of the words, and also "spread" the word of these teachings and/or the "websites", quotes, teachings etc.

Current Followers- aka: The "Saved"
It is your job now to spread the word of the Morri, and link back to us you little pieces of crap.

Holy crap you people make me sick.

Courtesy Cup - Goon Adelaide - Richard Quick

Hobo Jo Jo - Angus O'Mann - Ultra Toast Mosha God

The English Ranter- Pj- Spoonman

The Truth Fairy - Slut 69 - Brothergrimm

The Reverend Timothy- Andy K

TeevHo- Deep- Benjibopper

Ne-Wo- Battle lama- Dirty Darren

Current Sinners- aka: The "Damned"

these sooky baby reteards belive they can with stand our harrasment they think for themselves and constantly have something "clever" to say and/or completley ignore my supremity.

Alex

Hey, fuck, it could be worse, at least you dont look like this!

You guys have been damned because you still refuse to join and or you really are crap or ugly. You will stay on this list until the day you repent.

-Old Man Morri-

Daily blessing

2006-02-14T22:15:00.000-09:00

Todays' teaching.

A message to the Disbelivers, From Old Man Morri's Sermon to the strong-minded.

( unfortunatley Inspired By Andy k )

To link, or not to link: that is the question:Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer from the Morri The slings and arrows of outrageous bloggers,Or to take arms against a sea of cunts,And by "opposing" end them? To hack: to sleep;No more; and by a sleep to say we end, literally.The heart-ache and the thousand stupid fuckers,That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation, a fucking insult, fucking hackers!Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep; to cunt, to cunt.To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;For in that sleep of death what dreams may come of MorriWhen we have shuffled off this mortal coil, and join the cult, the only cult.Must give us pause: there's the respect, respect of thy Morri,That makes calamari of such long squid; and stupid cunts.For who would bear the whips and scorns of Morrism,The oppressor's wrong?, the Old man Morri?The pangs of despised members,is the cults delay, The insolence of Bloggers and the coders,That patient merit of the unworthy Morrists,When he himself might his followers make him vomit, in his hair, in his hair.With a fucking brilliant blog? who even Andy wouldn't bare,To grunt and swear under a weary psuedonymm, the shock!But that the dread of old Man Morri leaving comments, what a cock!In the undiscover'd country of the blogosphere.No traveller returns, enraging Morri over here.And makes us rather bear those pills we have at home to try and sleep,Than fly to other blogs that we know not of, man you pricks are weak!!Thus your "conscience" does make cowards of you all!And thus the native hue of RGB resolution on your wall,With this regard their computers turn awry,And lose the name of action.-- Fuck you too!The fair Grandmaster! leader, of the feral,Be all my sins remember'd.and forget to join at thine peril .Fuck all you fucking Pricks

Old Man Morri (Vice Grandmaster)

An excerpt from Old Man Morri's travelling van (like a travelling library)

Yah as thou see in the media, the bird flu is upon us. We need to invent some other name for this affliction. Who remembers Mad cow disease? I remember, cows going nuts, that's just great slapstick. Was thou afraid of the mad cow?(points to lady, lady shakes head) NO, of course not, we need something funny, something fresh and new to call our flu, our diesease. Fuck a duck, the golden goose and the ugly duckling are just some names i'm putting out there ( some faint Amens) This way, we'll know that when were dying from this terrible affliction, we can gather some assurance in the fact, that we're dying from the funniest virus on the planet**. (applause, *inaudiable slanderous comment from woman*)

**subject to deletion on actual onset of pandemic.

The emptiness that becomes, from the book of squirrel inspired by the book of Angus.

"Yay as it is said of the squirell, to be of greed is a shame. For no creature leaves it's nuts unattended, for fear of retrebution, and of trees growing in awrkward places. Yay as thee hear my word, the word or the Morri, thinkith of thou homage to thoust furry like mammals; for squirrels are the keepers and custodians of the realm of the nuts. Heed my warning, and go in peace as doth the furry one."

Grandmaster Morri,transcribed by Old man Morri.

Next weeks teaching; "Morrists' and Mountain-Goats"

Destruction is a form of creation. ( Beaver 15;12 From the book of eager Beaver)

As it was done then it is done now, I build my dam and cull the forest, creating peacefull lakes. Yay, the water does not resist my creation, therfore I am supreme, the forest falls before me, but my minds eye is blind to the emptiness i create...

Next weeks teaching, " The emptiness that becomes... Squirell 15;3"

Teachings

2006-02-14T22:14:00.000-09:00

"Death comes only once, and there is not a second chance. One glance of what and how hell looks like and the meaning of endless time may change you views. You may say that i am wrong, but what if i am right? And i know and beleive that i am right, and the risk is not worth to take, because there is only one chance. Please do visit any nearby church to know how true it is."
Sent in by Anon.

"There are many secrets in this life. I know of three, but they are sercret, so I'm not telling"
Old Man Morri

"Do not fear commitment. Instead, fear women and Germans."
Old Man Morri.

"A ninja once passed Grandmaster Morri in the road, and when my master asked the Ninja of his name the Ninja replied: "Bob", for Bob is the name of good Ninjas. Suddenly my master walked away from him flapping his arms. Later when i asked my Master why he had behaved like that in front of the Ninja, Master replied "Bees, there were lots of bees".
Old Man Morri

" Never ask an old man his secrets, for secrets are as old as men"
Old Man Morri(vice Grandmaster)

"Something , Nothing and everthing... Are these all things?,or is nothing substance in reverse?"
Grandmaster Morri

"If life is like a box of chocolates, avoid the turkish delight"
Old man Morri.(vice grandmaster)

"Just because you can't see with your eyes closed , doesn't mean it's easier too see with them open"
Grandmaster Morri

"Life is like a triangle, there are three pointy bits, and as many flat sides"
Grandmaster Morri.

"To open your mind to the Urban flow of life can be likened to having a dislocated head, literally."
Grandmaster Morri.

"Thought in a vacuum is subject to gravitational pull, and therefore is pulled gravitationally"
Grandmaster Morri.

"life is like fried rice, there's too many prawns, and not enough peas"
Old man Morri.(Vice Grandmaster)

Photos for your shrine

2006-02-14T21:49:00.000-09:00

Old Man Morri; subliminally converting the law.

Grandmaster Morri, Reverend Timothy and Ne-wo

The all-knowing, all wise, spritual

leader of Morrism: GrandMaster Morri.

Old Man Morri and Reverend Tim

Cult member Jo; converting the drunk since 1984.

Fuck, get it right already! Middle finger!!!

Nice "cross finger action" Good initiative

If you would like to have your photo in here Email Old Man Morri

1

2006-02-14T21:48:00.000-09:00

Don't like Morrism? Got a problem "with" our doctrine, literally? Tell us why, your imput is always appreciated and/or completely overlooked. Look at more crazy accusations here

Old Man Morri